Minorities and Mental Health in the Law

The Supreme Court handed down its decision this week in Students for Fair Admissions, Inc v. Presidents and Fellows of Harvard College. The case dealt with the Constitutionality of affirmative action, with the Court ultimately striking down affirmative action. This drew strong reactions from both sides of the political spectrum. However, this post isn’t about the politics. It is about my personal experience with affirmative action.

“The Law School tantalizes unprepared students with the promise of a University of Michigan degree and all of the opportunities that it offers. These overmatched students take the bait, only to find that they cannot succeed in the cauldron of competition.” That was part of Justice Thomas’ dissent in Grutter (2003) arguing, as some have, that affirmative action sets minorities up for failure. Justice Scalia reflected similar thoughts during oral argument in Fisher v. Texas saying, “There are those who contend that it does not benefit African­-Americans to get them into the University of Texas where they do not do well, as opposed to having them go to a less­ advanced school, a slower­-track school where they do well.”

I remember reading Thomas’ dissent in law school. I remember hearing about Justice Scalia’s comments shortly after passing the bar. Both times it felt like a gut punch.

Coming out of college I had a strong GPA and good letters of recommendation. My LSAT score was just a bit below average for the school I wanted to (and ultimately did) attend. This, combined with the impressive talent of my classmates in law school, fueled constant impostor syndrome. And reading and hearing Thomas and Scalia’s thoughts added fuel to that destructive fire (Thomas even talked about minorities under performing on the LSAT in his dissent in Grutter).

This of course did not match reality. I earned my spot in law school. I succeeded in my class work. I earned my degree. I worked hard and passed the bar exam. Unfortunately, I hadn’t fully learned to challenge negative thinking with reality yet.

While I have strong opinions on how this Court ruled on the merits for the Harvard case, this is not the place for them. I am not here to address the Constitutional arguments, but rather the performance once that were made by Thomas and Scalia above and that continue to echo in response to this case.

They are wrong.

You deserve the accomplishments you’ve achieved. Yes, affirmative action programs might have helped you in your application process. I believe they did for me. Yet that doesn’t make you less deserving. On the contrary, it makes everyone’s educational experience richer because of the unique culture and life experiences you bring to the table. This of course is not the only thing that got you in the door. You’ve earned your place through hard work as well. Yet I know when I heard those arguments it made me feel lesser than my classmates. It made me feel like I didn’t belong.

If you are feeling this in response to this week’s decision, know that you are not alone. Many other lawyers have struggled with impostor syndrome for a variety of reasons, myself included. We’ve been there and we can help.