Boundaryless Boundaries

This week had me thinking a lot about boundaries, both personal ones and professional ones.

We’ll start with the personal. Next week is Thanksgiving. And while many of us are understandably looking forward to a break from work, time with friends and family, and delicious food, some might also be dreading it. And if you are one of those people know that you are not alone. For many, quality family time is best enjoyed in moderation.

Yet speaking personally, I know that I have always struggled to maintain boundaries with those closest to me. Yet that doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. Instead, I found that people I cared about often crossed my ‘boundaryless boundaries.’ And rather than address that fact and advocate for myself, too often I ignored it. Too often my boundaryless boundaries were caused by a desire to please other people and a fear that boundaries were harsh or that they would chase people away.

Let me say this loudly for 25 year old me and anyone else who needs to hear it. Boundaries are natural, they are important, and they are anything but harsh. On the contrary, boundaries allow us to define and protect our own space and our own values, important things to have while on the road to recovery from a mental health condition.

And it isn’t just over Thanksgiving that boundaries are important. It isn’t just our personal lives that deserve boundaries. This past week, we saw numerous sources reporting that Elon Musk, the new owner of Twitter, gave his employees an ultimatum to work long hours or get out. It seems many took him up on the offer to leave as many of those same sources are reporting massive resignations taking place.

Let me first say that I do not know what Mr. Musk actually said, this is just what numerous news sources have been reporting. Some might say that even if the reporting is true, the fact is that Mr. Musk has every right to run his business however he sees fit. Which is absolutely true. Yet I applaud any employees who may have decided to protect a robust work-life balance rather than allowing anyone to push them past their boundaries.

Because regardless of what is or isn’t happening at Twitter, it is well known that long hours that throw off work-life balances is something that happens a lot in the law, especially at big firms. One attorney I spoke to in law school who was at a big firm that shall remain nameless said he’d only taken one day off over the previous 12 months because he had the flu and was bed-ridden with a 103 degree fever. That convinced me then and there to stay away from big law.

People pushing past our boundaries shouldn’t be accepted. Not in our personal lives and certainly not in our professional lives. Fortunately, I think we are seeing a shift where younger individuals are demanding those boundaries. And personally I for one couldn’t be more excited.