The Blameless Causes

As legal professionals, it might seem like we live for assigning fault. Who is guilty, who is liable, etc. We even sometimes break down the blame into exact percentages in comparative fault cases. Yet recovery from mental illness is more about understanding blameless faults.

What I mean is that there are absolutely faults in our past that can lead to some if not most of the mental health challenges we experience. While science still is unsure about the role genetics plays in mental health issues, environmental factors can absolutely play a role. I say this as someone who is exploring that in my own recovery.

For me, that means recognizing the causes of my depression and anxiety that stem from my childhood. Yet when it comes to recovery, understanding the reasons doesn’t necessarily mean placing blame. I could blame my parents for certain experiences that may have impacted my depression and anxiety, but the truth is it isn’t their fault. They did the best they could. They did what they thought was right.

And as I’ve learned since becoming a parent myself, no one is the perfect parent and no child has the perfect childhood. And objectively, my parents did a decent job. Both me and my sister are well-educated productive members of society. We were always fed, clothed, and cared for. Despite the fact there were social-emotional absences in my upbringing, it is both inaccurate and ineffective to blame my parents.

It is inaccurate because there is no but-for test that we can apply to mental health issues. And it is ineffective because I believe that such negativity takes away from recovery. Blaming them for what was, ignores the power I have to confront my mental illness, get treatment for it, and get better. Focusing on the past can help me understand where I should go moving forward, but it should never be an anchor that holds me back.

There may be very clear causes of mental illness in some cases. Yet blame isn’t a tool in my recovery toolbox, and I don’t believe it should be one that you have in your toolbox either. On the contrary, recognizing the blameless faults behind my depression and anxiety gives me the opportunity to grow. And if you are struggling with the blameless causes of your own mental health challenges, know that we’ve been there, we’ve grappled with something similar, and we can help.